Show Down

There was no way I could go up there.

Those McDonald's play structures are an abyss of plastic and germs and heaven forbid your kid gets lost in there because there is no coming out. Even worse in when your kid refuses to come down. I said, "two more times down the slide and we need to go". Well, he didn't want to go so he used that problem solving brain of his and decided to never come down.

Ten minutes later: "Come down Milo. Come down the slide" I'd call out. He'd just happily ignore me and continue playing with the wipers in the the elevated truck cab. Then he moved over to the helicopter and started spinning the propeller. "Come down Milo!" he'd just smile and continue on his way.

I started to panic. There's no way my 35 week pregnant body was going to get up into that play structure. There's no way a non-pregnant body could go up there. Trust me, I've tried.

So, he had the upper hand and that kid knew it. Twenty minutes pass and he still keeps ignoring me. What do I do? What do I do? It's thirty minutes now and I'm well aware that all of the other parents at that playground are convinced I'm a super push over. I text Hunter. "What should I do?" and he texts back "give him a spanking"! I text back, "he'll laugh at me!" and besides, how am I going to get at his little bum? He's hiding in a play structure 15 feet off the ground and I can't touch him!!!!

Then I did what every shamed faced parent does. Bribe. I repeated once more, "Come down right now!" and he replies, "NOOOOOOO" and I say, "when you get down do you want an ice cream"? Quiet. "YEAH!!! EYE!" (that's how he says ice cream).

I hear a pitter patter of feet and within seconds he and his dog have landed at the bottom of the slide. I wasn't sure if I should throttle him or laugh.

We leave the playground and I'm filled with conflict. I don't want to give that kid ice cream. Next thing you know he'll be whispering to my fetus, "hey, you want a tip? If you want ice cream just blatantly ignore Mommy. Works like a charm every time"!!!!

So I reneged on my offer. I said, "You were not good at listening to mommy" and he solemnly nodded his head. "You can have ice cream next time but not today" and he solemnly nodded his head once more.

So we left with both of our tempers intact but I sort of lied and definitely bribed to achieve that. I admit there is a smidgen of shame in my heart. But, I tell myself, at least we didn't have to stay for dinner.

Kids Are Like Wine, They Get Better With Age

No doubt he was cute. All 6lbs 14 ounces of him. He could fit from the nape of my neck to the top of my pubic bone and I could easily brush my lips against his warm, feathery head. And he would cry lots, and barely sleep but he was beautiful. And I thought, this is all there is.

Then he got older and he would stay up late and make all the ladies smile at wedding receptions. He would sleep more which some how made him infinitely more delightful and he would smile his smile and I'd swoon. I couldn't help it.



Then he was doing so many things. Sleeping for one thing. He rarely, if ever woke during the night and he started walking and making sounds and climbing into the dishwasher and clothes dryer (well, I may have put him there but he loved it)! I adored watching him pull things from drawers and cupboards,and removing rubber door stops with his teeth. He's so clever, that one.



And then, it just got better and better with trips to Heritage Park, and play dates with friends and blowing unsolicited kisses. And I thought, wow, maybe he does love me. He even began to cuddle. Sitting long enough for me to be reminded of the early days. He was heavier and he didn't fit my torso but he was still all mine.



And now he's so big. He throws shoes at my head when angry and says sorry when he throws his train. He gives directions from the back seat while I drive and he insists I change my clothes if he doesn't like them. He yells, "Red stop!!" at red lights and "Green Go" at green lights. He laughs when cartoons fall down and when he pushes his trains off his bed. He is concerned when babies cry and he starts making a whimpering sound when Clifford the Big Red Dog is sad. He pedals his tricycle while yelling, "fast!! fast!!!" and he runs. Oh how he runs. I'm not sure if he can actually walk because everywhere we go he runs the same hop/skip, gallop sort of run that makes me wish I could freeze him as he is right now.

And I can say that since his birth the taste of him has become deeper and more full. It is tangy and sweet with the occasional, but rare, bitter residue and I can say that I've always loved him but I can also say that I love him even more now. Yes indeed, my kid gets better and better with age.