Show Down

There was no way I could go up there.

Those McDonald's play structures are an abyss of plastic and germs and heaven forbid your kid gets lost in there because there is no coming out. Even worse in when your kid refuses to come down. I said, "two more times down the slide and we need to go". Well, he didn't want to go so he used that problem solving brain of his and decided to never come down.

Ten minutes later: "Come down Milo. Come down the slide" I'd call out. He'd just happily ignore me and continue playing with the wipers in the the elevated truck cab. Then he moved over to the helicopter and started spinning the propeller. "Come down Milo!" he'd just smile and continue on his way.

I started to panic. There's no way my 35 week pregnant body was going to get up into that play structure. There's no way a non-pregnant body could go up there. Trust me, I've tried.

So, he had the upper hand and that kid knew it. Twenty minutes pass and he still keeps ignoring me. What do I do? What do I do? It's thirty minutes now and I'm well aware that all of the other parents at that playground are convinced I'm a super push over. I text Hunter. "What should I do?" and he texts back "give him a spanking"! I text back, "he'll laugh at me!" and besides, how am I going to get at his little bum? He's hiding in a play structure 15 feet off the ground and I can't touch him!!!!

Then I did what every shamed faced parent does. Bribe. I repeated once more, "Come down right now!" and he replies, "NOOOOOOO" and I say, "when you get down do you want an ice cream"? Quiet. "YEAH!!! EYE!" (that's how he says ice cream).

I hear a pitter patter of feet and within seconds he and his dog have landed at the bottom of the slide. I wasn't sure if I should throttle him or laugh.

We leave the playground and I'm filled with conflict. I don't want to give that kid ice cream. Next thing you know he'll be whispering to my fetus, "hey, you want a tip? If you want ice cream just blatantly ignore Mommy. Works like a charm every time"!!!!

So I reneged on my offer. I said, "You were not good at listening to mommy" and he solemnly nodded his head. "You can have ice cream next time but not today" and he solemnly nodded his head once more.

So we left with both of our tempers intact but I sort of lied and definitely bribed to achieve that. I admit there is a smidgen of shame in my heart. But, I tell myself, at least we didn't have to stay for dinner.